I remember the day we first met

All those years ago

You were a man of your words

And I was an empty shell

But with each passing visit

My shell slowly fell

You made me feel worthy

And you stood by me

Through it all

You never left my side

You made me feel like I was unstoppable

With your encouragement


Allowing me to see your beautiful soul

I saw something I wished I never had, but

I took it off cruise control

For I couldn’t wait any longer

For you

I said the words first

And you turned and ran

I was left standing there

Heartbroken and devastated

That I had lost you forever

I couldn’t let you go, so

I stood and fought for you

Harder than I ever fought before

And still your ego and the lies

That you told yourself

Broke you and me into two

Instead of molding us as one

Now here I sit

A hundred miles away


All I still dream of is you

Like a haunting past

Keeps flashing before me

And all I still want is to say

I am sorry forever loving you

Sorry that I wasn’t pretty enough

Or smart enough

Sorry I was too independent

And strong

Sorry I wasn’t the kind of lady

You deserved so much

Sorry that I loved you so deeply

Sorry that I chased you away

Sorry that I never got to

Lay in your arms late at night

Sorry that I wasn’t good enough

To wake up to in the morning light

I am sorry … you were ever hurt

 By my words of love

I guess my love was too powerful

For your beautiful soul to see

We were really meant to be.




JAnn’s Poetry Event

So, on the 15th of this month, I broke out of my shell and did something I never thought I would ever do. When one lives with anxiety & depression doing these daily things that normal people take for granted is  a big goal and achievement that I accomplished.

There was five of us who sat the event up. I had one table for refreshments, which offered a meat & cheese tray, cookies, banana bread, and a big bowl Of Munchies. There was coffee, tea, water, & soda for drinks. On my other table was my books, sign up sheets for my newsletter and future interest in poetry classes. Plus, I had my laptop there which displayed KayCee’s Magazine, Double the Books, and sign up sheets for her newsletters. The people who showed up was truly impressed with her work on my covers and with her magazine.

The crowd was small, but that was okay because I wasn’t ready to tackle it all bunch at once. My manager assistant Debbie Garrison spoke of me and my writing. She also spoke about how we were adopted sisters and how much she enjoyed working with me and my writing.

I then took the floor, I didn’t feel nervous. I actually felt pretty comfortable. I knew the faces in the crowd. Especially my art teacher, Bob from junior high. That was really neat having him there listening to me reading my speech and my poetry. I started off reading a little to fast then I slowed down and starting chatting about my poetry. It actually went by so fast. Next thing I knew I had been reading for almost two hours and conversing about my writing with others really entwined into my poetry.

You can watch the first hour of the event on my YouTube channel. I suggest you take the hour and hear a crazy poet who didn’t know what she was doing on trying to amuse others with her words.

After the event my son asked me, what my next goal was? I told him, “Let me go home, relax and then I will let you know.” So I still haven’t thought or decided on what my next goal should be or where I want to go now. But I will keep you all posted.

Before I go, there is a few thank you’s I would like to post.

I would like to say thank you to Madeline & the Board of Directors for allowing me to do this reading here at the Creative Arts Center and for co-sponsoring this event.

I would like to say a thank you to my daughter, my best friend, manager, co-editor, cover & graphic artists, KayCee K. Without you this dream would still be in a shoe box in my closet.

I would like to say a thank you to my two sons, Mitch & Hayden for supporting and believing in my dream as a poet & for giving me the time I need to write.

I would like to say a thank you to my two daughters who cannot be here today, Natasha & November Dawn. Natasha thank you for always keeping my life interested and for my two grand-kids. November Dawn, thank you for watching over me and being my little angel.

I would like to say a thank you to Debbie Garrison for the support and pushing me to do this dream of mine and for being my marketing assistant and helping KayCee and I promote and market my books. She is my cheer-leading squad and with Debbie, I only need her because she does the perfect bragging.

I would like to say a thank you to Susie & Vaughn, for being there for me after my mom passed away and to Susie for being the only best friend I ever had in life that stood by me through everything.

I would like to think all my followers on Twitter and Facebook that helped keep me going while I prepared for this event. Your words of encouragement are words I will never forget. I thank you for your daily support of my books, poetry and other random writings.

I would like to thank Kathleen Harryman, Kat Green,  and the person who help with donations towards my event. I truly appreciate the help and every dollar went towards the event. I also need to toss in one more thank you to Ginger Jackson for her help in making this event possible. If you would like to donate towards my fund for future events the link is below.

Last, but never forgotten,

I would like to say a thank you to my parents, Jim & Mary and my stepdad, Richard. I hope I have done justice by telling my story here and I hope you all would be proud. To my dad, Jim you were a complicated man but one I admire for teaching me so much from the grave. To my mom, Mary… my angel, spiritual guide, you guide my soul each day with your love and stubbornness that you passed on is why I am here today. To Richard, you didn’t just show me but taught me what a real family was about and how important family was, I especially thank you for showing my mother the love you did.

I would like to thank my sisters, Kim, Voni & Amelia… Kim, I thank you for the love you showed me through the years. Voni, thank you for the lessons you taught me while you were here and for watching over me from heaven. Amelia, we may not see each other for years at a time, but I want you to know you are never far from my heart.





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